Day 124/366 days Towards Self-Mastery.
Home. Right now during this period of enforced lock-down with CV-19, home is where we are spending our time.
For some home is their refuge, for others home is far from being a haven, and yet for others home doesn't exist.
Our grandmothers job was to keep home, and I expect that because it is our natural desire to engage in meaningful activities, they made a career out of keeping home well. Not just the physical attributes, ideally they attended to the needs of the relationships between family members within the home as well.
In an ideal world, our primary needs for closeness and caring, stability and security, recognition and acknowledgment are first met within our family homes. Home is that stable, reliable place where you're greeted as though you belong there, supported as though you're important, treated with kindness and acknowledged for your contribution.
Home is where the hearth is.
The centre for warmth and acceptance.
Of course for many of us, that's not the case. Some, but not all of these primary needs may have been met, causing all sorts of other needs to emerge as children attempt to find ways to get their fundamental needs met. In many cases, none of these primary needs have been met.
The early nineties, when women finally felt that they had a standing chance of competing for top jobs in the private and public sectors, families moved into the era of double income earners. For a short time wealth was available to those families and the after school childcare industry was born.
As a pioneer of after school services I was quick to notice the effects that less time for the family together was having on children and wondered if this industry would be not much more than a 20 year wonder.
Many will attest to family mealtimes being a thing of the passed and who knows what other family connection time and activity was lost.
It was also speculated in my circles, just how quickly the economy would change to soak up that wealth and make it not just a luxury, but a necessity for families to have a double income. Of course it didn't take long for the market to respond to the increase in disposable income.
Home is where you hang your hat.
Home became anywhere you were able to stop and rest.
All that wealth meant travel was easy for work and recreation and many of us travelled widely, trading the stability and security of our homes for adventure. That was certainly my experience.
It also meant I lost sight of long term friendships, and disconnected from family as I pursued my career and adventures relocating and finding my husband in a foreign land.
The solutions to the shift in home as a priority and safe haven for all family members is not something that I have the answer for, but its something I'm considering for my own family.
As a woman on the go most of my life, who has travelled and experienced many spectacular facets of life, I am settling into my small rural community and rekindling the commitment to local connections, building relationships and doing business locally.
My son is out in the world full of dreams and excitement for what's ahead of him, following his mother's footsteps. For me, I'll be strengthening our family home and garden, building in more stability and holding the forte whilst he comes and goes through the tumultuous times ahead. There's no doubt that the economy and the world will change. Who knows what's ahead of us.
As you reflect from your time at home during this period of isolation, ask yourself, "what do I really want from my life?"
366 days Towards Self-Mastery
When I considered my New Year's intentions for 2020 I had just one: To allow my heart to love what it loved...and let it lead me. (If not now, then when?)
I've spent months working on integrating my life. To live life more fully with my home life, my interests, my work, my responsibilities, all coming together, all connected. I want to give each the attention that they desire and need, and still have time and energy for the others. That means living and working from the heart.
As I was clearing out my bookshelf over the Christmas break I discovered Simple Abundance. I set it aside to explore it on New Year's Day as I lazed through another delicious day of nothingness. Sarah, the author, says this book is about living in grace. Living in grace I realised, is about Self-Mastery.
My thirst for understanding the human condition has driven me all my life, and hand-in-hand with self-mastery it has been a life-long goal. And seeing as I love to write, that living in grace is about self-mastery, and I love a bit of a challenge, then if I am truly going to let my heart lead, I really don't have any other choice. So scary as it feels, I'm starting out on a daily mission of leaning into the suggestions of this daybook and making a daily post to keep me accountable. If not now, then when?
I'm Josie. You can find out a little more about me here.
Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy: by Sarah Ban Breathnach.
This book is written for the Australian and NZ market because it refers to seasonal changes. It's available on Amazon here if you'd like to follow along.