Like a reckless filly I bolted out into the world where I KNEW there were greener pastures awaiting me!
At 18 years of age, as I left my family home, I soon discovered that I didn’t have a single thought that was truly my own!
Happiness was set in my sights and I wasn’t settling for anything less.
Immersing myself in a lifestyle that was vastly different from where I had come seemed the fastest way to find the joyful life that I longed for.
Yet in 15 years of searching and striving…
It hadn’t come in the form of relationships.
It hadn’t come in the form of a wealthy partner.
It hadn’t come in the form of worldly travels.
It hadn’t come in the form of my career nor my businesses.
And it didn’t come in the form of parenting solo.
Thousands were spent on psychologists and still I wasn’t happy.
Patterns in my behaviour that I didn't aspire to began to come into my awareness, and that scared me…a lot. I recognised them as familiar family patterns. The very behaviours that I had fled from all those years ago.
I had to find the keys to changing this life of misery.
Following the crowd, I tried desperately to become more mindful of my thoughts. Noticing them, questioning them, being curious about them and the feelings they produced seemed to be a step in the right direction.
It helped me to understand my inner world a little better. That work, at the very least, set me in the right direction and felt like progress.
Fighting with my ego was another trend that I subscribed to. I fought it like a demon. It was the enemy and I would win.
It took me quite a while to realise that by fighting with my ego, I was fighting with myself. Tearing myself apart in an effort to find joy.
I wanted ease, peace, clarity and calm. I couldn't see myself getting there with any form of inner conflict.
Struggling to find "ease" didn't make sense.
There had to be another way. Making friends with my ego opened more doors to my inner world.
Suddenly I discover a treasure trove of experiences that were the stories that made up my life.
And with these stories were the beliefs and expectations that I had acquired from anyone and everyone, and practically NONE of them were my own!
How to do life
What experiences were valuable
What path to take
What was acceptable, what wasn’t
Who to be like, look like, dress like
Where and how to live
What I had to do to be accepted, to fit in, to belong
What was good, what was bad
What course to take
What job to apply for
What to say
What not to say
How loud to say it
Where to go
When to go
How to go
My journey in this life began with being immersed in a family where every breathing moment was controlled. Every single facet of life was prescribed in detail. There was no room for negotiation, no room for creativity, innovation nor critical thinking.
Like a programme on autorun, my life was the perfect reflection of these stories, OTHER PEOPLE’S STORIES, tucked away in my deep mind.
Relationships proved too difficult.
Eventually I threw in the towel and walked away to devote my time and energy to doing the inner work.
I meditated. I wandered. I thought. I read. I listened. I journaled. And I meditated some more.
Immersed in my now small world of my only son, and my work, I focused my energy on trying to know myself a little better.
Understanding the connections between thoughts, emotions, inner stories and how and where they show up in my body became an obsession.
And those connections brought relief.
The first signs of significant change began to emerge.
My life began to change.
Old patterns subsided.
New ways of being came alive.
My confidence and self-esteem were building with every step along the way.
No longer was I feeling stuck in old and dysfunctional family patterns.
Life began to discover me! How to parent my way; how to socialise my way; how to communicate, my way, how to create, to work, to enjoy, to live and to love...all my way!
About Me: Josie Coco
Discover the core problem, solve it.That’s the inner work process that you want to work with when you’re a business woman who knows that being the best version of herself will build the best version of her business.
I’m a Certified BodyTalk Practitioner of BodyTalk Consciousness-Based Energy Psychology and Health and Well-being Mentor. You are welcome to seek more information and work with me here.