"Smell the sea and feel the sky, let your soul and spirit fly" - Van Morrison
When Love is Missing
- how emotional neglect shapes our lives - and how healing begins
This book may be for you if…
You grew up with your practical needs met but something important still felt missing; you learned to minimise your needs or become highly self-sufficient; or you find yourself struggling with trust, closeness, self-worth or asking for support without quite knowing why. When Love Is Missing offers a gentle place to begin noticing what may have been absent, how you adapted, and what might become possible now.
When Love Is Missing explores the quieter experience of childhood emotional neglect — not only what happened, but what may have been missing: comfort, attunement, encouragement, protection and a steady sense of being known.
Through Jessie’s story, the book looks at how these early absences can shape self-worth, relationships, trust and the nervous system across adult life.
Grounded in Gestalt therapy, attachment theory and trauma-informed understanding, it offers a compassionate way to make sense of old patterns and begin relating to yourself with greater awareness, choice and care.
Buy the Book - coming soon
Table of Contents
Part 1 - The Experience of Developing and Living Without Love
1. Love Is Essential
2. What Is Emotional Neglect?
3. Early Responses
4. The Psychological Landscape - The Role of Attachment
5. The Body Remembers - The Neurobiology of Neglect
Part 2 - The Longer-Term Journey
6. Carrying the Burden of Long-Term Emotional Effects
7. Identity and Self-Worth
8. Patterns of Relating - Social Relationships and Interpersonal Dynamics
9. Behavioural Patterns and Coping Mechanisms
Part 3 - Healing and Moving Forward
10. Resilience and Recovery - Pathways to Healing
11. Rebuilding Trust and Forming New Bonds
12. Cultivating Self-Love and Compassion
13. Transforming Pain into Purpose
Reviews
A gentle but powerful reflection… In furnishing both the understanding and tools to rework longstanding relational patterns which have outlived their usefulness, When Love Is Missing is a gift to the adult self which lacked love as child.”
Pam Stavropoulos PhD (Pol), Grad Dip Psychotherapy, PACFA Accredited Supervisor
A very readable and accessible self-help book… The writing style is remarkable for its emotional warmth and sensitivity. All in all, the book is a great place to start your own healing journey.”
Kathrin Stauffer, PhD, author of Emotional Neglect and the Adult in Therapy
Josie has written an important book which openly and transparently addresses the sensitive and far too common scenario of the critical absence of early emotional nurture. In so doing it is affirming, supportive and practical integrating lived experience, practice insights and research evidence in a way which is accessible and palatable.
Dr. Cathy Kezelman AM, President and Managing Director, Blue Knot Foundation
'With a light touch, Josie Coco guides readers into thinking about themselves in relationship. Taking small and gentle steps, she reveals how a sense of disconnection can over time lead to more confidence in making connections. Providing clear explanations, simple practices and suggestions for further consideration, this small but impressive book will be a gift to anyone who is unsure about how they fit into the world.'
Miriam Taylor, Trauma Specialist, Therapist, Trainer and Author
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