Day 290/366 days Towards Self-Mastery.
Loss. If you've ever experienced a sudden and significant loss in your life you have more experience with this subject than I do, and your comments by way of contribution are welcome.
My losses have been slow and torturous. Seeping out from under my guard, distancing themselves slowly and painfully, tightening my chest and stifling my breathing.
Loss. It feels as though I have become an expert at living without, at living with having lost. My headache is returning.
The only way I can counter the tremendously crumpling feeling of loss is to look out into each new day and experience what I have. The beauty that surrounds me, the life that is active in my presence, the warmth of the sun on my skin, the cool breeze in my hair. The sounds of neighbours working on their projects, lives travelling the nearby roads, birds singing.
Every day seems like a precious jewel, every hour worth savouring.
We never know when a sudden loss will befall us. I don't have the experience to draw on however my imagination can take me into a whirlwind of grief and disbelief and the wanting of time to stand still, to rewind, to do over.
Instead I will focus today on making every hour count. I'll live it fully and appreciate its presence as I walk gently into the next.
366 days Towards Self-Mastery
When I considered my New Year's intentions for 2020 I had just one: To allow my heart to love what it loved...and let it lead me. (If not now, then when?)
I've spent months working on integrating my life. To live life more fully with my home life, my interests, my work, my responsibilities, all coming together, all connected. I want to give each the attention that they desire and need, and still have time and energy for the others. That means living and working from the heart.
As I was clearing out my bookshelf over the Christmas break I discovered Simple Abundance. I set it aside to explore it on New Year's Day as I lazed through another delicious day of nothingness. Sarah, the author, says this book is about living in grace. Living in grace I realised, is about Self-Mastery.
My thirst for understanding the human condition has driven me all my life, and hand-in-hand with self-mastery it has been a life-long goal. And seeing as I love to write, that living in grace is about self-mastery, and I love a bit of a challenge, then if I am truly going to let my heart lead, I really don't have any other choice. So scary as it feels, I'm starting out on a daily mission of leaning into the suggestions of this daybook and making a daily post to keep me accountable. If not now, then when?
I'm Josie. You can find out a little more about me here.
Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy: by Sarah Ban Breathnach.
This book is written for the Australian and NZ market because it refers to seasonal changes. It's available on Amazon here if you'd like to follow along.