Day 3/366 days Towards Self-Mastery. Status: Wow, what a day!
Contemplating today's inspiration has taken many twists and turns and finally found a resting place. A number of times I've opened my notebook and haven't been able to start. Now that it's time for me to be in bed, I'm here and it's going to happen.
Today Sarah says that she wants me to become aware that I already have all the wisdom, strength and creativity needed to make my dreams come true. She goes on to say, that when we are unable to access our inner resources we come to the flawed conclusion that our needs are fulfilled by external means.
Invite inner awareness, be still and wait.
I've summarised her formula:
Gratitude -->(leads to) simplicity --> an ordered life --> harmony --> inner peace --> an appreciation of the beauty that surrounds us --> joy.
As I navigated my day through cleaning the exterior of my house, shopping and gardening, I kept inner awareness in the front of my mind. Awareness is something I practice, often, including deep meditation. So I thought this would be a synch.
It's my practice to make a point of capturing any disharmony and exploring what's going on there for me. What dissonance am I experiencing within?
Today's dissonance was subtle but for sure, every time, the underlying feeling was fear. Fear of falling off the ladder, fear of getting bitten by a snake, fear of attracting ticks, fear of blasting the paint off the house with the high pressure thingy, fear of not having anything to write, fear of not being able to get cat food, fear, fear, fear!
Wow! Fear plays a bigger role in my life than I expected. Is there any wonder that I am struggling with creativity.
Overcoming fear is about assessing resources, internal and external and deciding if I'm up for the challenge. And I guess that is what happened each time I felt that fear. That's fear's job, right? To give me the opportunity to assess if I'm up for the challenge.
Well I didn't fall from that ladder, I didn't get bitten by a snake, nor a tick, the house still has a coat of paint, I did find cat food and here I am writing, so all is well with the world.
But what happens when fear cannot be easily satisfied. When there doesn't seem to be a ready answer, nor readily available resources? What then?
Well, then it's let go and let God, and to be honest with you, that is something I'm not all that crash hot at.
Trust.
I totally need to get comfortable with trusting that all is well. Yep, that's next. Wish me luck.
366 days Towards Self-Mastery
When I considered my New Year's intentions for 2020 I had just one: To allow my heart to love what it loved...and let it lead me. (If not now, then when?)
I've spent months working on integrating my life. To live life more fully with my home life, my interests, my work, my responsibilities, all coming together, all connected. I want to give each the attention that they desire and need, and still have time and energy for the others. That means living and working from the heart. As I was clearing out my bookshelf over the Christmas break I discovered Simple Abundance. I set it aside to explore it on New Year's Day as I lazed through another delicious day of nothingness. Sarah, the author, says this book is about living in grace. Living in grace I realised, is about Self-Mastery.
My thirst for understanding the human condition has driven me all my life, and hand-in-hand with self-mastery it has been a life-long goal. And seeing as I love to write, that living in grace is about self-mastery, and I love a bit of a challenge, then if I am truly going to let my heart lead, I really don't have any other choice. So scary as it feels, I'm starting out on a daily mission of leaning into the suggestions of this daybook and making a daily post to keep me accountable. If not now, then when?
Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy: by Sarah, Ban Breathnach
This book is written for the Australian and NZ market because it refers to seasonal changes. It's available on Amazon here if you'd like to follow along.