Day 309/366 days Towards Self-Mastery.
Looking outside of myself for how I should do my life penetrated every corner of my being. In hindsight there are no surprises yet I still marvel at how lost one becomes when we're searching in all the wrong places.
Inside and out, I was looking for the solutions outside of me. Glossy magazines informed my style whilst self-help books determined my demeanour. Rule books instructed my dating decorum and manuals of etiquette and social graces informed my social life.
There was nothing if not consistency. My external world reflected my internal world, and it was all about searching out there for something that was missing, unknown, untrusted, and disconnected.
If I was to admit to being a late bloomer, that would probably be an understatement. It was in midlife that I began to reflect instead of search. And it was in midlife that I began to notice my garden. An overgrowth of vegetation and not a single bloom.
With some care and attention right outside my living room door, forget-me-knots began to bloom, along with daffodils and buttercups, rhododendrons and camellias.
And it is now in late midlife and arguably later if I am honest, that I am finally able to see the value of blooming where I am planted.
This morning as I wandered my garden at first light, hoping to see the rewards of yesterday's efforts, I was reminded that the blooms burst forth on my magnificent magnolia after taking in the sunlight and growing roots deep into the ground, indulging the nurturing and nourishing of the seasons of summer, autumn and winter each year, year after year.
After recently exploring the online world for clients and workplaces far, far away for too long and at the expense of connections here in my hometown, I have finally come to the realisation that everything I want is right here with me.
All this time looking over the fence, beyond the horizon for greener pastures have been in vain. "Blossom where you are planted", is Sarah's wisdom for today's inspiration.
My regret, indulged in only briefly, is replaced with the pleasure of connecting with those closest to me. With the people I know, my neighbours, my acquaintances in real life, my friends, my home.
I have many more spring seasons in which to bloom. And so do you.
366 days Towards Self-Mastery
When I considered my New Year's intentions for 2020 I had just one: To allow my heart to love what it loved...and let it lead me. (If not now, then when?)
I've spent months working on integrating my life. To live life more fully with my home life, my interests, my work, my responsibilities, all coming together, all connected. I want to give each the attention that they desire and need, and still have time and energy for the others. That means living and working from the heart.
As I was clearing out my bookshelf over the Christmas break I discovered Simple Abundance. I set it aside to explore it on New Year's Day as I lazed through another delicious day of nothingness. Sarah, the author, says this book is about living in grace. Living in grace I realised, is about Self-Mastery.
My thirst for understanding the human condition has driven me all my life, and hand-in-hand with self-mastery it has been a life-long goal. And seeing as I love to write, that living in grace is about self-mastery, and I love a bit of a challenge, then if I am truly going to let my heart lead, I really don't have any other choice. So scary as it feels, I'm starting out on a daily mission of leaning into the suggestions of this daybook and making a daily post to keep me accountable. If not now, then when?
I'm Josie. You can find out a little more about me here.
Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy: by Sarah Ban Breathnach.
This book is written for the Australian and NZ market because it refers to seasonal changes. It's available on Amazon here if you'd like to follow along.