Day 83/366 days Towards Self-Mastery. Mood: wrestling with confusion
When it comes to authenticity I have the feeling that we are always showing up with our best, authentic version of ourselves. Even when that's crappy and we feel less than and a bit over it. At that point in time, it's still the best we can do, and that's totally okay in my books.
Somehow the word authentic has come to stand for some purity of spirit, a deep soul searching goodness that enables us to shine through in all our glory. Or maybe that's my tainted version of authenticity fabricated through the lens of never being good enough.
authentic, adj: representing one’s true nature or beliefs; true to oneself or to the person identified
Being the best version of ourselves is a process, not a destination, it's not the end product. When I realised this simple truth it made an enormous difference to how I approached life.
Having been conditioned to be the best, the top performer, the 100% everything correct and accounted for, being authentically messy was a blessed relief.
Today Sarah suggests to always be the "first rate" version of you.
The messages in today's inspiration are a bit confusing for me and that, I am assuming is because of the meaning I am making of them.
We should strive to be the best version of ourselves, and our best is good enough.
When I hear the word "strive" I feel pressured into being something that I'm not. It's not my word. STRIVE was ceremoniously ejected from my vocabulary a long time ago.
However I do feel comforted by the sentiment that my best is good enough.
All that striving and all that being the best version of myself has left me confused about who I really am. Who is this and what part of this version of me is really of my making?
With all the judgements and expectations, trends and comparisons, it's really hard to fathom what I choose, who I am in any given moment, and what is of my creation, untainted by the expectations of others.
Currently I'm leaning into "good enough". Allowing myself to make mistakes, to get it wrong and be okay with it. Good enough. Liberating. Try it sometime.
That is my reasons for being on this journey Towards Self-Mastery. I need to continue to master my own life and destiny. Somehow I need to feel that this life is my creative process. Work in progress.
Take care, stay well.
366 days Towards Self-Mastery
When I considered my New Year's intentions for 2020 I had just one: To allow my heart to love what it loved...and let it lead me. (If not now, then when?)
I've spent months working on integrating my life. To live life more fully with my home life, my interests, my work, my responsibilities, all coming together, all connected. I want to give each the attention that they desire and need, and still have time and energy for the others. That means living and working from the heart.
As I was clearing out my bookshelf over the Christmas break I discovered Simple Abundance. I set it aside to explore it on New Year's Day as I lazed through another delicious day of nothingness. Sarah, the author, says this book is about living in grace. Living in grace I realised, is about Self-Mastery.
My thirst for understanding the human condition has driven me all my life, and hand-in-hand with self-mastery it has been a life-long goal. And seeing as I love to write, that living in grace is about self-mastery, and I love a bit of a challenge, then if I am truly going to let my heart lead, I really don't have any other choice. So scary as it feels, I'm starting out on a daily mission of leaning into the suggestions of this daybook and making a daily post to keep me accountable. If not now, then when?
I'm Josie. You can find out a little more about me here.
Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy: by Sarah Ban Breathnach.
This book is written for the Australian and NZ market because it refers to seasonal changes. It's available on Amazon here if you'd like to follow along.