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  • Writer's pictureJosie Coco

No more faking it until you make it!

Day 79/366 days Towards Self-Mastery. Mood: cranky!

Is it love or is it something else? That feeling you have in the presence of someone who listens to you deeply. Who looks into your eyes and remains present to you whilst you speak. Who doesn't respond with their own version of your story, but instead acknowledges you and sits with you.

This is a deeply moving experience. That person who afforded you that time and space appears tranquil, composed. You feel a deep inner sigh, a sense of relief, something akin to love.

Is this an experience that you have had?

Sarah suggests that this is an experience that most of us have had, but I'm here to tell you, not me.

I have the feeling that this is an experience that few of us have had, and, I might be completely wrong with that assumption. In fact, as I write, I'm pretty sure I am wrong about this.

It seems that this experience is not unique to me. Let's just say it's unusual and I am one of those people who have only ever experienced this approach almost never. I know this because of my therapist's response when I react to this attitude of deep listening that she affords me.

"Today act as if you are a woman with repose of the soul."

Greet everyone you meet with a smile. No matter how busy you are don't rush your encounters, speak softly, listen intently, act as if...

Just NO! Seriously, I couldn't disagree more with this sentiment.

Fake it until you make it is so old paradigm and I think, very damaging. Aren't we over that sort of hypocrisy?

Here's what I really want for me and for those I turn to, to support and for support. I want to be there for you 100%. In your story, your pain, your grief, your worry, I want to stand by you and be that one spark of humanity that really listens deeply to you, that really sees you, that feels your pain and carries it with you.

And I want that from you as well. Don't give me your fake smile and your pretend listening.

If you're really keen to exercise your humanity, do the work. Deep inner reflection. If I can't do that for me, then I can't do it for you. Because the only way you will ever truly be available for others is to be 100% available for yourself. To know yourself deeply and honestly.

Then compassion, deep listening, holding space with all the humanity of your soul will be there fully and honestly for others.

No more faking it until you make it.


Simple Abundance

366 days Towards Self-Mastery

When I considered my New Year's intentions for 2020 I had just one: To allow my heart to love what it loved...and let it lead me. (If not now, then when?)

I've spent months working on integrating my life. To live life more fully with my home life, my interests, my work, my responsibilities, all coming together, all connected. I want to give each the attention that they desire and need, and still have time and energy for the others. That means living and working from the heart.

As I was clearing out my bookshelf over the Christmas break I discovered Simple Abundance. I set it aside to explore it on New Year's Day as I lazed through another delicious day of nothingness. Sarah, the author, says this book is about living in grace. Living in grace I realised, is about Self-Mastery.

My thirst for understanding the human condition has driven me all my life, and hand-in-hand with self-mastery it has been a life-long goal. And seeing as I love to write, that living in grace is about self-mastery, and I love a bit of a challenge, then if I am truly going to let my heart lead, I really don't have any other choice. So scary as it feels, I'm starting out on a daily mission of leaning into the suggestions of this daybook and making a daily post to keep me accountable. If not now, then when?

I'm Josie. You can find out a little more about me here.

Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy: by Sarah Ban Breathnach.

This book is written for the Australian and NZ market because it refers to seasonal changes. It's available on Amazon here if you'd like to follow along.


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