Day 155/366 days Towards Self-Mastery
Black Lives Matter
As you see people of colour pour out onto the streets, what is stirring in you?
I am very aware that this situation is not about me, however what stirs in me is what makes it possible for me to resonate with people of colour. Without that stirring it's difficult to understand their experiences. So bare with me as I express my feelings in a time that is not about me, yet this blogging experience is.
What stirs in me is an old feeling of utter helplessness. The yearning for someone to care, and coming to terms with the truth that they don't.
The longing to be seen with the truth of my invisibility that I've had to sustain. They've had to sustain.
I've observed some of the lengths that people of colour go to to fit in. In particular I've observed the way that they have needed to condition their children to be exceptionally polite and respectful citizens. This has always worried me. Can you ever be good enough for those whose hearts are not yet able to embrace you.
My message today is to allow these feelings to stir within you to enable you to connect with the humanity of this situation that is arising for people of colour. Let them know that they are not alone. Let them know you feel their pain, their anguish. Express your resonance with them.
And I begin to feel the stirrings of my own incompetence in the situation. My inability to reach out, to connect, to have the hard conversations, to embrace. My fear of expressing a different sentiment to my friends and family, or putting myself further outside the circles of those that are important to me. Yet the silence is deafening.
I want to acknowledge the exceptional relational skills of protestors who are reaching out peacefully to those who hurt them most.
366 days Towards Self-Mastery
When I considered my New Year's intentions for 2020 I had just one: To allow my heart to love what it loved...and let it lead me. (If not now, then when?)
I've spent months working on integrating my life. To live life more fully with my home life, my interests, my work, my responsibilities, all coming together, all connected. I want to give each the attention that they desire and need, and still have time and energy for the others. That means living and working from the heart.
As I was clearing out my bookshelf over the Christmas break I discovered Simple Abundance. I set it aside to explore it on New Year's Day as I lazed through another delicious day of nothingness. Sarah, the author, says this book is about living in grace. Living in grace I realised, is about Self-Mastery.
My thirst for understanding the human condition has driven me all my life, and hand-in-hand with self-mastery it has been a life-long goal. And seeing as I love to write, that living in grace is about self-mastery, and I love a bit of a challenge, then if I am truly going to let my heart lead, I really don't have any other choice. So scary as it feels, I'm starting out on a daily mission of leaning into the suggestions of this daybook and making a daily post to keep me accountable. If not now, then when?
I'm Josie. You can find out a little more about me here.
Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy: by Sarah Ban Breathnach.
This book is written for the Australian and NZ market because it refers to seasonal changes. It's available on Amazon here if you'd like to follow along.