Day 184/366 days Towards Self-Mastery
Well I'm a few days behind with my blogs. I've been distracted by a major assignment I had to digest and synthesise and it's taken everything I've got. Attempting to split my energy in another direction that relies on memory and reflection just wasn't a good mix.
In the passed I would have worried about myself sick. It would have kept it up at night. I'd burn the candle at both ends to keep my promises, my commitment to daily blogs, in spite of the toll it would take on my well-being.
Somewhere along the way I realised that I spent most of my life anxious about the passed that wasn't, and worried about the future that wasn't, and rarely did I take a moment to give consideration to the way things are.
I think this is a common thread amongst us humans on this planet. For sure we spend a lot of time worrying about not experiencing the childhood that we felt entitled to. That was me for sure.
And as if to compensate for lost love and care, I was hell bent on creating the future that was exactly as I wanted it.
You'd think I might give a thought to maybe crafting the present day as I wanted it. The one I'm actually living in.
I can say with authority that our occupation with the passed, and with the future, is the place that we will find most of our misery.
There is nothing more liberating than to accept what is, as it is. When I discovered this simple practice I realised that right here and right now I can do something about that. That something might be the next step in the new direction, or it might just be standing still and surveying the scene and reassuring myself that this too will pass.
Coincidentally, staying with what is, is a key principle in Gestalt Psychotherapy. Such a powerful principle. Regardless of our past, what is most important is how we are impacted today. From here we can begin to renew.
It's possible that Gestalt psychotherapy is my life's calling, or maybe its simply perfect alignment with the most important elements of my life, or maybe it's both. The end of the degree is looming and I could be getting anxious about how I will get a job that will justify the time, money and commitment to the last 4 years. We'll see when the time comes.
in the meantime...
Today life is amazing. There's fabulous music playing in the background, I've prepared some delicious meals for the week, attended to the washing, give my garden some love, chatted with my son, decided not to walk out today, and am settled here on the couch on a cool winter day catching up on blogs. My cup is full.
366 days Towards Self-Mastery
When I considered my New Year's intentions for 2020 I had just one: To allow my heart to love what it loved...and let it lead me. (If not now, then when?)
I've spent months working on integrating my life. To live life more fully with my home life, my interests, my work, my responsibilities, all coming together, all connected. I want to give each the attention that they desire and need, and still have time and energy for the others. That means living and working from the heart.
As I was clearing out my bookshelf over the Christmas break I discovered Simple Abundance. I set it aside to explore it on New Year's Day as I lazed through another delicious day of nothingness. Sarah, the author, says this book is about living in grace. Living in grace I realised, is about Self-Mastery.
My thirst for understanding the human condition has driven me all my life, and hand-in-hand with self-mastery it has been a life-long goal. And seeing as I love to write, that living in grace is about self-mastery, and I love a bit of a challenge, then if I am truly going to let my heart lead, I really don't have any other choice. So scary as it feels, I'm starting out on a daily mission of leaning into the suggestions of this daybook and making a daily post to keep me accountable. If not now, then when?
I'm Josie. You can find out a little more about me here.
Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy: by Sarah Ban Breathnach.
This book is written for the Australian and NZ market because it refers to seasonal changes. It's available on Amazon here if you'd like to follow along.