When drawing boundaries is perfectly natural
Day 280/366 days Towards Self-Mastery.
For a very long time I remained perplexed at this idea of having or creating personal boundaries. As I learned the various nuances of inner boundaries, outer boundaries, personal and professional and other iterations of those invisible lines drawn in the sand, I began to wonder why it was not perfectly natural to have such boundaries. Why was it all such an effort?
Knowing we need boundaries and also knowing deep in our body and nervous system that our boundaries have not been ours to set, have been breached at the will of others without any respect nor consideration, sets up the polarity that creates a constant battle within.
There is something stunningly beautiful and empowering to be able to say, "no, that's not for me right now." No explanations, no concerns about offending, no feelings that I might get it wrong or I might get an unwanted reaction. Simply, "no, not now, thank you".
Initially my no's were much more a 'fight' stress reaction. Something would trigger an old memory that I wasn't even aware of that felt life demands or commands or in some way taking away my freedom, and would elicit a reactive angry NO. My lovely friend calls this her "F*@k off system". I love it. It aptly describes my reaction. However effective that was, it didn't make me any friends nor support my existing relationships. That is not setting an effective boundary. That is in fact, a stress response.
Healing from our deepest traumas gives us the ability to naturally and compassionately draw boundaries in the moment. Right words, right time, right place. When the remnants of emotions and stress that show up in our mind and body from our passed are healed, we are free to choose our experiences.
So profound is the shift in life's outlook and enjoyment of life generally, the emergence of creative energy, the zest for living and interest in long forgotten endeavours, that supporting clients to heal from passed traumas motivates my life's work.
Drawing boundaries is as natural as breathing when our deeply held memories, our sense of powerlessness and our stresses from all imposed interference are released from our body and nervous system.
Seek healing towards self-mastery.
366 days Towards Self-Mastery
When I considered my New Year's intentions for 2020 I had just one: To allow my heart to love what it loved...and let it lead me. (If not now, then when?)
I've spent months working on integrating my life. To live life more fully with my home life, my interests, my work, my responsibilities, all coming together, all connected. I want to give each the attention that they desire and need, and still have time and energy for the others. That means living and working from the heart.
As I was clearing out my bookshelf over the Christmas break I discovered Simple Abundance. I set it aside to explore it on New Year's Day as I lazed through another delicious day of nothingness. Sarah, the author, says this book is about living in grace. Living in grace I realised, is about Self-Mastery.
My thirst for understanding the human condition has driven me all my life, and hand-in-hand with self-mastery it has been a life-long goal. And seeing as I love to write, that living in grace is about self-mastery, and I love a bit of a challenge, then if I am truly going to let my heart lead, I really don't have any other choice. So scary as it feels, I'm starting out on a daily mission of leaning into the suggestions of this daybook and making a daily post to keep me accountable. If not now, then when?
I'm Josie. You can find out a little more about me here.
Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy: by Sarah Ban Breathnach.
This book is written for the Australian and NZ market because it refers to seasonal changes. It's available on Amazon here if you'd like to follow along.