When we're running the programme, we're missing life
06/366 days Towards Self-Mastery. Status: animated and excited
Sitting dead centre in the middle of the Par Kwa, (Feng Shui for middle of the Feng Shui-ed octagonal diagram of my home), nimble fingers scampering over the keyboard for the entire day, surfacing only to catch my thoughts. Today I had a lot to write about.
The divine inspiration that emerged from Simple Abundance today enabled me to reflect on the things that I've taken for granted, and the times that I allowed my life to operate on autorun.
When the programme is running, it seems to me that this is when life is more likely to be taken for granted.
"Standing knee deep in a river and dying of thirst," by Kathy Mattea, it would be difficult to express it better.
What and whom am I taking for granted? What am I searching of for in all the wrong places?
One of my favoured emotional stories, well tuned over several decades, recently surfaced and revealed to me just how much I had taken for granted the very thing that I longed for. Support.
For as long as I could remember I felt and told myself how unsupported I was. My memory is good. That's a long time. And of course I saw evidence everywhere I went, every job I had, every relationship I attempted.
My therapist maybe, or some other enlightened being revealed to me or suggested to me to take a look around and find the messages that my environment was giving me.
My home was my starting place. As I sat in my bed before drifting off to sleep I took in my shoes, items of clothing, accessories, dressing table, curtains, bed linen. The discovery that each and every one of them supported me was a revelation.
The exploration continued the next day. My kitchen, the very home that I built, my furniture, everything that I chose for my home. My cat, my car, it all supported me to live the life that I am living.
My friends, my garden, my community have all demonstrated their support in many and varied ways, often. Yikes! Had I forgotten? Have I not noticed?
It's fair to say that I had some tough and lonely times early in my life, but even then, I was well supported. Perhaps not in the way I needed, yet all my physical needs were provided.
How we/I focus on what's missing! To spend a lifetime telling the same story and finding evidence everywhere only to discover that the story is only partly true, and the misery that I created by indulging in it was 100% true.
Without the help of whomever it was, I'd still be on that bandwagon.
No man (or woman) is an island. I need to keep reminding myself of this. With my tendency to solitude, it's possible that I deny myself opportunities for growth. When I hear myself and my stories as I speak them to others, their perspective enables me to self-reflect.
Therapy. It's been an important part of my Master's programme.
366 days Towards Self-Mastery
When I considered my New Year's intentions for 2020 I had just one: To allow my heart to love what it loved...and let it lead me. (If not now, then when?)
I've spent months working on integrating my life. To live life more fully with my home life, my interests, my work, my responsibilities, all coming together, all connected. I want to give each the attention that they desire and need, and still have time and energy for the others. That means living and working from the heart. As I was clearing out my bookshelf over the Christmas break I discovered Simple Abundance. I set it aside to explore it on New Year's Day as I lazed through another delicious day of nothingness. Sarah, the author, says this book is about living in grace. Living in grace I realised, is about Self-Mastery.
My thirst for understanding the human condition has driven me all my life, and hand-in-hand with self-mastery it has been a life-long goal. And seeing as I love to write, that living in grace is about self-mastery, and I love a bit of a challenge, then if I am truly going to let my heart lead, I really don't have any other choice. So scary as it feels, I'm starting out on a daily mission of leaning into the suggestions of this daybook and making a daily post to keep me accountable. If not now, then when?
I'm Josie. You can find out a little more about me here.
Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy: by Sarah Ban Breathnach
This book is written for the Australian and NZ market because it refers to seasonal changes. It's available on Amazon here if you'd like to follow along.