Whose agenda am I really serving?
Day 04/366 days Towards Self-mastery. Status: exhausted!
Old habits die hard. Hard work was a given. A fact of life. No one was rewarded for it in my experience. The benefits of hard work was the job completed. One less to do tomorrow.
How easy it is to find myself still serving someone else's ideals! Enough already!
The focus of today's inspiration: Life is not a dress rehearsal. Be the leading lady of my own story.
Where am I denying myself? Where am I living out of habit? Where am I not showing up as the real deal, me?
Living consciously was something I thought I had a pretty good handle on. Staying really close to my experience as this challenge is asking of me, my cup is beginning to leak like a sieve!
The thing that I noticed most of all. Well 2 things actually, but I'll focus on satisfaction first.
After working my butt off for 2 days, cleaning and scrubbing and high pressure blasting the outside of my home, it's looking super clean, spick and span. You'd think I'd spend a bit of time admiring it, but nope, I was straight onto the next thing. Hardly gave it another thought.
You know what? It's okay to pat yourself on the back for a job well done. Soaking up that sense of satisfaction is a great feeling when I've done something I'm proud of, yet I discovered it's all too easy to fall back into old habits and not stop and take the time to drink it in.
So drink it in I did. If I'd had a bottle of bubbles I'd have cracked that as well.
The remedy to that habitual drive and strive was to down tools and take a few minutes to admire my work. Run my hands over shiny clean walls, admire the pristine white verandah ceiling free from cobwebs and those little wasps that build mud nests. Tell myself what a great job I'd done. Take it all in. Realise that I will no longer have that feeling of dread each morning that I have this mammoth job ahead of me. It's done! Immerse myself in the feeling of pride when I have guests, and feel into the joy of having breakfast in this nice clean space on my verandah each morning.
Note to self: milk every success for that delicious sense of satisfaction.
Now to train the wildlife to quit pooping on the deck.
My love for all things nature is not showing up in my work. Well, except that poop!
Extensively, I work with the consciousness of the 5 elements (wood, fire, earth, minerals, water) and the 4 seasons, yet I speak very little about them. I'm focussing on who I perceive is my audience instead of what I love.
I have a feeling that the old model for business is passed it's use-by date. Working from a premise of building a business around what I love, it doesn't seem to want to fit the model that's touted by the numerous business coaches in every corner of the online world.
Following my heart means allowing it to lead, and trusting it with my future. Not an easy task after 25 years as a reasonably successful entrepreneur.
Of course certain structures remain intact, but the development of the model and the marketing I think is a unique experience. Unique to my interests and the people that I connect with.
Instead of trying to sell something to a defined demographic, I think it's about showcasing what I love to do and let those who are interested find their way to engage with me. It feels refreshing to hear myself write that! Now I just have to figure out how to do it.
366 days Towards Self-Mastery
When I considered my New Year's intentions for 2020 I had just one: To allow my heart to love what it loved...and let it lead me. (If not now, then when?)
I've spent months working on integrating my life. To live life more fully with my home life, my interests, my work, my responsibilities, all coming together, all connected. I want to give each the attention that they desire and need, and still have time and energy for the others. That means living and working from the heart. As I was clearing out my bookshelf over the Christmas break I discovered Simple Abundance. I set it aside to explore it on New Year's Day as I lazed through another delicious day of nothingness. Sarah, the author, says this book is about living in grace. Living in grace I realised, is about Self-Mastery.
My thirst for understanding the human condition has driven me all my life, and hand-in-hand with self-mastery it has been a life-long goal. And seeing as I love to write, that living in grace is about self-mastery, and I love a bit of a challenge, then if I am truly going to let my heart lead, I really don't have any other choice. So scary as it feels, I'm starting out on a daily mission of leaning into the suggestions of this daybook and making a daily post to keep me accountable. If not now, then when?
I'm Josie. You can find out a little more about me here.
Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy: by Sarah, Ban Breathnach
This book is written for the Australian and NZ market because it refers to seasonal changes. It's available on Amazon here if you'd like to follow along.