Happy as a clam at work, horrible at home? Or maybe it’s the other way around. Or maybe, you’re miserable in both places.
Wherever you’re experiencing this divide there will be evidence of you repeating the same old familiar patterns that you’ve known all your life.
You're feeling miserable because while your mind is busy trying to solve those old patterns, you're experiencing the same outcomes and feelings as if those patterns are on auto-run.
Don't beat up on yourself about it. It’s what we all do until we’ve had enough! Then it’s time to make some changes, to break away from familiar (family, social, religious, education, political, medical) patterning, and to create a life of your own.
We are not meant to be carbon copies of our parents, and their parents and our ancestors before them. We’re meant to be exploring new frontiers not just in our commercial lives, but also in our personal life, our emotional lives. We’ll evolve, or we can wake up to groundhog day every single day.
You can continue to be the version that gets pushed around by life, that tries to measure up to other’s expectations, or you can be the version of you that you choose, that you create. The YOU before you were covered in layers of other peoples B.S., and the YOU that you want to grow into in the future, because THAT is going to be your legacy.
Are YOU ready to CHOOSE the version of you that you want to live out into the future?
My Best 5 Transformative Tips
1. Become an observer
Become the observer of the way you show up at home and at work, and everywhere in between. Mann and Cadman (2014) suggest that when you are not focussed on something that takes your full attention, such as your work commitments, your mind is off daydreaming, and looking for solutions to old problems. It does that while you're doing menial task at home like preparing a meal, hanging the washing or vacuuming the floor. Notice the self-talk that's going on. Your mind is busy thinking about and problem-solving old stories that you're holding onto. That's going to throw you into old patterns of behaving before you realise what you're doing. Be the observer, notice yourself.
2. Find yourself in the judgment
When you find yourself judging someone else, ask yourself this question, “where am I in this conversation?” Allow the truth to sink in because that truth is on your path to freedom from your existing predicament.
3. Retrain yourself for joy
Make a list of 6 things that you enjoy and commit to do one each day, to train yourself to experience joy.
4. Start with one relationship
Take one relationship that’s not working for you and begin to journal how you want that relationship to look and feel from your perspective. Journal about it up to 3 times each day. Don’t stop until the relationships is what you want it to be.
5. Do the inner work
You can find our more about doing inner work here. Use a simple process that you can follow each time you experience a nuclear or nano emotional meltdown. You want to capture the data from that meltdown and use it to understand your personal operating system. This is how you will change your life.
Access to the right words, the right actions at the right time and the right place. The NEW best version of YOU is about SELF-MASTERY.
I’m a Well-being and Self-Mastery Mentor and Certified BodyTalk Practitioner. You are welcome to seek more information here. If you're ready to learn to live fully with ease and grace, let's talk. Make a time here to discuss your immediate concerns. If I can help you I'll let you know.