Day 330/366 days Towards Self-Mastery.
It took a long time to realise that there was more to life than being practical; what would be useful, helpful, supportive or the next thing.
Yesterday I spoke about some of the behaviours that we call traits that are actually functions of trauma. Being overly protective, isolating socially and others. One of those others is being predominantly practical. So practical in fact, that unless some idea, activity or thought is not practical then it is a waste of time.
"You must have a lot of time on your hands to be doing that!", in reference to my work of art on decorated Christmas cookies!
Trauma. That sort of remark along with the underlying idea that one should be busy doing practical all the time, working hard to make life work, is a by-product of a traumatic childhood. A nervous system that is trained to be super vigilant all the time, on the lookout for wasteful thoughts, fantasies and enjoyable activities. Your rewards will be in heaven.
There's nothing more true than that practical stifles creativity. To be creative one needs to daydream a little, visualise, imagine. Practical doesn't allow for that.
My affliction has definitely been practical. In many ways I love that practical has encouraged such resourcefulness, AND I want to experience more creativity. I want to daydream my way to experiment with watercolour, clay and my garden.
Take the time to daydream. Visualise the things that you love and the way you want to live. Imagine how your home and surrounds would look if you had the resources to support it. Allow yourself the luxury of being lost in reverie.
For me it's a work in progress. I'm getting there. Nowadays I use Pinterest to fill boards with loveliness that touches my heart. When I need an injection of fantasy and the imaginative, I'll go there and lose myself for a while.
My palate at the moment is my garden and my home. I'm enjoying experimenting, shifting and changing and exploring flowering and edible native plants to plant as well as herbs to grow around borders and along rock edges. In my home I'm appreciating cuttings from my mother's garden that bring my long history with her into my living, day to day.
Gathering paintings from the storage box of my son's childhood artwork, prepping them and framing them for a feature wall is a wonderful time warp of imagining the future and reflecting on the past.
My watercolour set teases me and plays on my mind. I'm not sure where to start. Slowly I explore ideas I've learned on YouTube. I'm happy with small gains.
In my meditations I create virtual realities of gardens and seashores, forest glades and lovely homes, and lose myself there for long periods of time.
Give yourself permission to imagine, to fantasise, to visualise magic. It's food for the soul.
366 days Towards Self-Mastery
When I considered my New Year's intentions for 2020 I had just one: To allow my heart to love what it loved...and let it lead me. (If not now, then when?)
I've spent months working on integrating my life. To live life more fully with my home life, my interests, my work, my responsibilities, all coming together, all connected. I want to give each the attention that they desire and need, and still have time and energy for the others. That means living and working from the heart.
As I was clearing out my bookshelf over the Christmas break I discovered Simple Abundance. I set it aside to explore it on New Year's Day as I lazed through another delicious day of nothingness. Sarah, the author, says this book is about living in grace. Living in grace I realised, is about Self-Mastery.
My thirst for understanding the human condition has driven me all my life, and hand-in-hand with self-mastery it has been a life-long goal. And seeing as I love to write, that living in grace is about self-mastery, and I love a bit of a challenge, then if I am truly going to let my heart lead, I really don't have any other choice. So scary as it feels, I'm starting out on a daily mission of leaning into the suggestions of this daybook and making a daily post to keep me accountable. If not now, then when?
I'm Josie. You can find out a little more about me here.
Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy: by Sarah Ban Breathnach.
This book is written for the Australian and NZ market because it refers to seasonal changes. It's available on Amazon here if you'd like to follow along.