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  • Writer's pictureJosie Coco

What are you attracting when the honeymoon is over?

Do you remember what it feels like when you first fall in love, that delicious feeling that ‘s almost too difficult to describe? Everything is right with the world. We get a glimpse of true love.

Yet 45% of marriages fail and at least 90% of those remaining are miserable.

When we’re in love we experience the greatest heights in our ability to manifest or attract to us the things we want. Have you noticed that? Synchronicities are more common, we’re joyful and animated, everyone cooperates, and each day blends beautifully into the blissful next.

Yet give it a couple of months and cracks begin to appear. We begin to see faults. We pass it off as the honeymoon phase being over, and the job of deciding whether we want this to continue begins, along with all the relationship work that goes hand in hand.

My threshold was about 2 months. After a while I just settled for 2-month relationships so I didn’t have to deal with the next phase. But what is the next phase?


The next phase is that time when we stop seeing our lovable, special self in the other person. (Yes, he is mirroring back to us exactly what we do know about ourselves at some level - that we are lovable, special and deserving.)

We start to see our default self come back into the picture. That self that we carry around with us all the time, the one we’re most acquainted with, the one we hope this new love will fix, make happy, care of us or whatever our need is. That default self, she’s one with us; she just has a default modus operandi that she falls back into when things become ordinary.

If that modus operandi includes being demanding and over critical, possessive, moody, melodramatic and a bit of a martyr, then there’s some interference to the natural balance in the region of the heart energies.


The same sort of thing happens when we have a win in our business. We have a feeling of elation and excitement, and whilst we ride that wave we energise our field and attract more of that elation and excitement to us. But it doesn’t last.

During the honeymoon phase, and it’s the same for our big wins, the heart energies open and expand. We’re able to see ourselves as lovable and special and we reflect that onto our new partner, our business and our customers.

We’re fuelling our field of attraction with a high vibration of love, joy and bliss, and we’re attracting to us all sorts of lovely things on that frequency.

In time, when our default self shows up, suddenly that reflection becomes a bit muddied.

And it’s not just our partner who changes, everything in our world changes. The synchronicities dry up, the manifesting of the good stuff seems to evaporate and we’re back to where we started.


Our field of attraction is once again fuelled with energies that don’t have a show of attracting to us the good things we want in life.

Raising our default emotion permanently is key to energising our field of attraction for manifesting or attracting to us the people, things and experiences we most want, effortlessly, ALL OF THE TIME.

The Law of Attraction is operational AT ALL TIMES. It IS effortless! That’s why it’s called a Universal Law. You don’t control it. It is drawing to you that which is on your frequency ALL OF THE TIME.

Change your default energy signature, your default vibe or frequency (whatever you want to call it) to one that works best for you – that’s the secret that was left out of THE SECRET!

The Law of Attraction operates at the resonance of your default emotion...that underlying default vibe you feel most of the time.

Regardless of the manifesting exercises you do and the success or failures you experience with them, you will NEVER make very much progress until you get that default emotion raised to a higher vibe.

Download my Blah to Bliss Infographic to see what this process looks like and don’t hesitate to call me if you want to explore your default emotion a little more.


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