Day 305/366 days Towards Self-Mastery.
Care of the soul. For me it began with tuning into what feels good. And for me this was an important first step.
Why? I've come to realise that the long-term effects of adverse childhood conditions and experiences can and does often leave an individual with the inability to feel emotions and/or physical sensations.
Remember that these things, these apparent aberrations, are not only protective measures, they occur on a continuum from extreme to light. My experience fell somewhere in between. I was able to feel misery but not joy. I was able to feel sadness but not love. All the emotions I didn't have access to where the feel good emotions, so it was a natural step to start there. And in doing so I began the work of caring for my soul.
It took navigating a major hurdle, and that hurdle was to realise that it wasn't selfish to care for myself first. And to continue to care for myself until my soul was healed. It took some 20 years to reach a place where I felt filled up and equipped to now turn my attention back outwards in support of others.
What was needed was a connection to my own feeling and experiencing of sensations. When I stepped aside from focussing on strictly the emotional and mental, and began to understand my body and nervous system responses and triggers I made huge progress. You don't have to get caught up in the mental and emotional drama of it all. Or you can if that helps!
In my therapy with clients I quickly connect them to their body's responses so it's not all about re-hacking traumatic memories.
Caring for my soul included or maybe it lead to connecting with my family and my ancestors. Deepening into a renewed appreciation of what had gone before me touched my soul in places I didn't know existed. Whatever soul is, their soul is my soul. It is one and the same, or so it seems.
I hope that you find ways to be gentle with yourself, and care for your soul.
366 days Towards Self-Mastery
When I considered my New Year's intentions for 2020 I had just one: To allow my heart to love what it loved...and let it lead me. (If not now, then when?)
I've spent months working on integrating my life. To live life more fully with my home life, my interests, my work, my responsibilities, all coming together, all connected. I want to give each the attention that they desire and need, and still have time and energy for the others. That means living and working from the heart.
As I was clearing out my bookshelf over the Christmas break I discovered Simple Abundance. I set it aside to explore it on New Year's Day as I lazed through another delicious day of nothingness. Sarah, the author, says this book is about living in grace. Living in grace I realised, is about Self-Mastery.
My thirst for understanding the human condition has driven me all my life, and hand-in-hand with self-mastery it has been a life-long goal. And seeing as I love to write, that living in grace is about self-mastery, and I love a bit of a challenge, then if I am truly going to let my heart lead, I really don't have any other choice. So scary as it feels, I'm starting out on a daily mission of leaning into the suggestions of this daybook and making a daily post to keep me accountable. If not now, then when?
I'm Josie. You can find out a little more about me here.
Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy: by Sarah Ban Breathnach.
This book is written for the Australian and NZ market because it refers to seasonal changes. It's available on Amazon here if you'd like to follow along.