What if I’m not good at meditation?
Updated: Sep 1
I have often thought of myself as the worst meditator.
My mind wanders. I get distracted. I remember something I forgot to do. I think I should be doing it better. I wonder whether anything is actually happening.
And still, sitting quietly has become one of the practices I return to.
Not because I do it perfectly.
Not because I become instantly peaceful.
Not because I am trying to become a yogi.
But because taking a few minutes to sit, breathe, and come back to myself can create a small but important shift in my day.
If meditation is not really your thing, you are not alone.
And perhaps it does not need to become a big, serious practice.
Perhaps it can begin much more simply than that.
Meditation does not need to be perfect
Many people think meditation means having a quiet mind.
So, when thoughts keep coming, they assume they are failing.
But the mind thinks.
That is what it does.
Meditation is not about stopping every thought. It is more about noticing where your attention has gone, and gently returning.
Again and again.
In this way, meditation becomes less about performance and more about relationship.
A relationship with your breath. A relationship with your body. A relationship with the present moment. A relationship with the part of you that is learning to pause.
For people who have spent a long time pushing through, staying busy, or living in their heads, even a few quiet minutes can feel unfamiliar.
That is okay.
You can begin where you are.
A simple meditation practice
You might like to try this for 10 minutes.
Choose a quiet place where you are unlikely to be interrupted. Sit in a chair, on a cushion, or anywhere your body feels supported enough.
You do not need a perfect posture.
Just allow yourself to sit in a way that feels steady and comfortable.
Then begin gently.
1. Notice your body
Let your attention move slowly from the top of your head down through your body.
You might notice your face, your jaw, your shoulders, your chest, your belly, your hips, your legs, and your feet.
There is no need to force relaxation.
Just notice what is there.
2. Feel the support beneath you
Notice where you touch the chair, the cushion, or the floor holding you.
Let yourself register that you do not have to hold everything up in this moment.
Something is supporting you.
3. Bring attention to your breath
You do not need to breathe in a special way.
Simply notice your breath moving in and out.
If it feels helpful, you might allow your breath to become a little slower.
Not forced.
Just softened.
4. Let your attention come toward your heart area
You might gently bring awareness to the centre of your chest.
Not to make anything happen.
Just as a place to rest your attention.
Some people find this helps soften the busy energy of the mind and return to a quieter sense of presence.
5. Allow thoughts to come and go
Thoughts will come.
This is not a problem.
You might silently say:
“Not now.” “Thank you, mind.” “I’ll come back to that later.” “Here I am.”
Then return to the breath, the body, or the heart area.
Again and again.
That is the practice.
What if I feel restless or emotional?
Sometimes when we slow down, we notice what we have been carrying.
You might feel restless. You might feel tired. You might feel sad. You might feel irritated. You might feel nothing at all.
This does not mean you are doing it wrong.
It may simply mean your body is beginning to notice itself.
If sitting still feels too difficult, you could try a shorter practice. Two minutes is enough to begin.
You might also try walking slowly, sitting outside, placing a hand on your chest, or simply noticing your feet on the floor.
Meditation does not need to be rigid.
It needs to be kind enough that your body can participate.
Why this can help
A simple meditation practice can support the nervous system by creating moments of pause.
It can help you notice when you are tense, braced, overwhelmed, or caught in repetitive thoughts.
It can help you come back to your body.
It can create a little more space between what happens and how you respond.
Over time, this kind of practice may support more steadiness, self-awareness, and emotional peace.
Not because meditation fixes everything.
But because it gives you a way to return to yourself.
A place to pause
You might gently ask:
What happens in me when I stop for a few minutes?
You might notice:
Do I become restless? Do I feel calmer? Do I feel impatient? Do I notice my body more clearly? Do I judge myself? Do I feel relief? Do I realise how tired I am?
Try not to make any of this wrong.
The noticing is the beginning.
A gentle next step
If meditation has felt difficult for you, perhaps begin very simply.
Ten minutes may be too much.
Start with two.
Sit somewhere comfortable. Feel your feet. Notice your breath. Let thoughts come and go. Return gently.
You do not need to become good at meditation.
You do not need to do it perfectly.
You do not need to empty your mind.
You are simply practising coming back.
Back to your body. Back to your breath. Back to this moment. Back to yourself.
You are welcome to read more of my reflections, explore When Love Is Missing, or visit the Work with Josie page if you are considering therapeutic support.
Sometimes self-directed healing begins with something very small.
A pause.
A breath.
A moment of remembering that you are here.
A note about this reflection
This material is offered for educational and reflective purposes only. It is not intended as medical or psychological advice, diagnosis, or a substitute for individual therapy or other professional mental health care. Reading this material does not establish a therapeutic relationship with the author.
Everyone’s circumstances and psychological needs are different. If something you read raises concerns about your wellbeing, please consider speaking with an appropriately qualified health or mental health professional. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis or are concerned about your immediate safety, please contact your local emergency or crisis support service.
Author’s note: This reflection was written by Josie Coco with AI-assisted editing for structure, clarity, and readability. The ideas, clinical judgement, and final wording are my own.
Josie Coco is an author and Gestalt psychotherapist working with adults who are exploring the long-term effects of emotional neglect, complex trauma patterns, anxiety, depression, relational difficulty, self-worth, and life transitions. Her work is grounded in Gestalt psychotherapy, attachment theory, Polyvagal Theory, and a deep interest in how early relational experience shapes the body, identity, and the way we come to meet ourselves and others.
If something in this reflection speaks to your own experience, you are welcome to make a time to discover whether working together feels right.
